You miss them. You ask them to call you often. You ask them to visit you more. And it seems that all your efforts about reminding them to come home have come to some fruition. Suddenly one or two or all of your kids have now decided that they want to move back in with you. You can be assured of the fact that you are not alone. According to the latest stats, 80% of college grads have moved back in with their parents, preferring to "crash" there for the summer, or until they get a good paying job, or until they find affordable apartments to stay in. There is also a good percentage from the same stats covering adults who, after living on their own for some time, have gone a-packing and asking for basement space in their parents' homes as their living quarters.
Although you love them to pieces, having your kids back home with you means shouldering a lot of expenses... not to mention the likely shenanigans the young ones might get into. So how do you deal with them: the boomerang generation - adult children moving home? Here are a couple of tips.
1. Sit down with them and talk as adults (meaning: no tantrums allowed, and no Bambi eyes flicking too.) Make it clear that they are welcome in your home for free... but for a limited time only. Staying over for one summer and staying over for 6 summers (and counting!) are two different matters entirely. Tell them that if they want to stay, then they should contribute something to the home's funds. Have them take charge of the utility bills, or the weekly groceries. Or better yet, ask them for a monthly rent which might include partial fees to cover utilities and food.
If they refuse or constantly miss payments, then its time you need to put a firmer policy down. It may sound hilarious, but grounding them and depriving them of certain home privileges might work. Not allowing their friends over, or banning the use of the living room TV, would make them feel like a child again - which mirrors exactly their attitude towards their assigned responsibilities. Tell them that if they want to be treated like adults, then they should owe up to their adult responsibilities as well.
2. It is your home. Impose your own rules. The last thing you need right now is to encourage your kids to become bums: airheads who have veritably plastered their behinds on your living room couch and frequently raiding the fridge every time they go for bathroom breaks... and encouraging their other bum friends to do so as well. Not because they have reached 18 years of age means that they are above cleaning their rooms, taking out the trash or mowing the lawn. These are actually fringe benefits of their back-to-your-home privileges.
If you are imposing a strict 10 pm shut down of the living room TV and lights to save electricity, or you would rather not have their friends partying over at your basement every weekend, or you would rather that they do their own laundry from now on, tell them so. And make sure that your kids know you mean business. If they can't handle your rules, then they need to seriously re-think the reasons why they wanted to move back in with you.
On the internet, you drown in information but starve for knowledge. That's why I created http://www.LesTout.com, the number #1 source of Daily Life Advice. Hi, I'm Dr. Barry Lycka the founder of LesTout.com - and I encourage you to come enjoy my site. Let us help you live your life to the fullest. Feel free to use this article (but please give us credit. It's copyright protected. And visit our Parenting and Family Section for up to date advice
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