When the new school year comes rolling in, some parents would be happy enough to know that their kids will finally be unglued from their seats in front of the TV or the computer. However, there are just some kids who feel that they would rather not see the walls of their classrooms any time soon. Incredibly, there are growing numbers of school aged kids and teenagers who feel (and show) some forms of educational establishment-related strain even before the academic year starts. Open complaints about their educational environment, showing overt displeasure regarding discussions about school, or sheer indifference to your preparations are all signs that something is not quite right. If your child seems to be undergoing these, here are some tips on preparing your child for back to school - avoiding the stress.
1. Listen to your child. One of the most common mistakes parents make is belittling or downright ignoring their child's complaints, especially if you are not consciously aware of doing so. The words, "It will be fine," "I'm sure that's not true," and "Don't worry about it," may sound soothing to you from the parent's point of view. But your child is very likely to think of this as a form of open dismissal. And that would be just about the last thing he or she would confide in you.
When you ask your son or daughter about what could be wrong with school, learn to really listen and ask questions that matter. Ask why he or she thinks that about a certain issue. If he or she is complaining about a person, ask the name and other pertinent details of the person. In many cases, your kids are not asking you to intervene with their problem(s) literally. Rather, they just want to know that you know what they think, and that simple act of listening alone can alleviate their stress levels in a hurry.
2. Listen to what is not being said. There are just some kids that would rather not talk, or would go around the subject in a very roundabout way. If such is the case with your child, then it would be best to observe his or her reactions or mannerisms. Abruptly changing topics, running away from his peers and vehemently expressing that they "don't want to talk about it" are visible signs of distress. On the other hand, suddenly going uncommunicative, showing covert signs of anger (e.g. clenching fists, making angry drawings, etc.) or losing or increased appetite are also signs, but these are more subtle and you might miss these if you are not paying attention.
Be extra attentive to other kids he might be hanging out with, and those that he would rather not look in the eye. If you live in a small community, you can try to observe how other kids interact (or don't interact) with your son and daughter. But never force the issue until your child is ready to confide in you. Make sure too that you let your child know that you will be at his or her side no matter what.
3. Ask your child to make a list that he or she should turn over to you about 3 weeks before the academic year begins. This list should comprise of all the things he or she would need or want for the incoming term. Place it on a visible spot for a week (stuck on the refrigerator door or kitchen reminder board) before you go shopping for his or her stuff. That extra week time will allow your child to add to the list in case he or she forgot something. At the same time, a back-to-school shopping list will avoid any scramble and last minute trips to the stores. And that could lessen the stress levels on both you and your child.
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